What I Learned By Waking Up At 4:30 A.M. For 21 Days

On April 2, I put myself to a new challenge. It was one of the biggest life hacks I’ve ever done.

The challenge was simple: waking up 21 consecutive workdays at 4:30 a.m., a challenge I gave the name of #21earlydays. I was already used to waking up early (6 a.m. almost every day), but this time I wanted to go further. I wanted to test myself and be more aware of my own limits. And at the same time, my idea was to share my progress with the world and try to change some preconceived ideas that society obliges us to follow.

I chose to do the challenge only on workdays, because I knew that weekends and holidays are radically different for me. There are times that I work even on these days, but most of the time I have other plans that include going out at night. Yes, I could do the challenge every day, but I thought that it’s a question of balance in life. As my idea since day 1 was to continue even after the 21 days, this would be more a struggle than a true benefit.

And why 21 days? Well, I based it on the old idea of Dr. Maxwell Maltz that says you need 21 days to form a new habit (not necessarily true for many habits). I didn’t know if it’d work, but for me it was more for the sake of establishing a goal. One lesson I always apply to life is to always establish a goal when you want to change or reach something because only in this way will you understand if you succeeded or failed.

But what was the final goal in all this? It’s all about productivity and making the most of my days. I’m always thinking of ways to improve my work and my life and I like to think about details and take action if I think I could improve. I’ve known for a long time that I am a morning person, and so the goal was to increase my morning time to see if it would increase my productivity.

So, what have I learned from this? A LOT:

1. If you want to change something in your life, it’s always better if you have support along the way.

It will be this support that keeps you on track when you’re about to give up. In my case, I opted to share my journey on Facebook with my friends and acquaintances. I knew that I would need this, because if no one knew I was doing this, no one would hold me accountable for failing.

But when you share your journey, people will ask you how it’s going, whether they agree or not. And in my head, I could not give up and show weakness. I knew I wouldn't disappoint anyone, because this isn’t such an important thing. But if I could inspire at least one person in the end, I couldn’t give up for that person's sake.

2. People like to see different things.

And someone waking up so early is definitely not a normal thing, so I had huge engagement in my posts! People concerned about me. People asking a lot of questions. And people stating that this would be impossible for them. I had great and deep conversations because of my posts and I couldn’t be more thankful to everyone that interacted with me. You made me think about many things, and part of this post is also a result of these conversations.

3. People don’t wake up earlier because they think they have to sleep less.

In the first days, some people were really concerned about me. Most of questions were about only one thing: the time I sleep. Of course, I had this well planned. I know very well what my body demands, and as I changed the time when I wake up, I changed the time I go to bed, too. Simple.

Usually I sleep between 6 and 7 hours during the week, and I maintained exactly that during the #21earlydays. So when it’s 9:30 or 10 p.m., it’s time to go to bed. To my surprise, the majority of the people that asked me the time I sleep, sleep less than me. And me? In fact, I’m sleeping even more now than before!

4. Eliminate the obstacles along the way.

People always say that doing something like this is impossible for them. Yes, there are a few situations that can make it harder. But I also believe that many people just don’t want to go the extra mile to improve their lives.

Society in general is lazy, and many people go with the flow. Yes, I have some conditions that helped me do this: I’m single with no children, and I have complete control over my daily routine. But I have most of these things because I created this situation.

When I lived with my parents, this would have been way more difficult, because I had the context of the family environment. So, I started this challenge when I knew I’d extinguished many of the struggles along the way. Think of everything that’s getting you down and preventing you from reaching that goal you’ve wanted but have never achieved. This is applicable to stopping smoking, going to the gym or eating more fruits and vegetables.

Getting rid of your obstacles makes it easier to achieve your final goal. In my case, I knew that I’d need several things: total independence in my life, i.e., over my working hours or dinnertime; the ability to go to bed anytime I want and to not be interrupted during my sleep; and the ability of working anywhere and anytime I want. I have all of this.

I usually work in startups, which means that I have huge flexibility in my time and that’s why I can be working at 4:30 a.m. This flexibility also allows me to come back home earlier. In addition, no one depends on me and I’m not dependent on anyone. And despite living with 7 other people in a shared house, I reach sleep easily at such an early hour.

5. Your physical condition helps a lot.

Regarding sleeping, I’m clearly a fortunate guy! I fall asleep really fast (5 minutes on average), I sleep well (rarely wake up during the night) and anywhere if needed, and I have no problems waking up (when the alarm rings, I get out of bed instantly).

Of course, this is also a consequence of my lifestyle: I eat well, I practice sports every day and I don’t have big and permanent worries in my life. But even given this, I believe that there are many people that could improve their sleeping. It’s always about changing little things, and after a few weeks or months, you’ll feel the impact of all those little changes. I’m at this point as a result of years understanding how my body behaves and what I could improve. I didn’t change yesterday.

6. Forget snooze!

Fortunately, I rarely used such thing in my life and these #21earlydays only help to convince me of the uselessness of it. For me, snooze is one of the worst inventions ever, and it doesn’t help people. If you want to wake up at a certain hour, please do and don’t delay it for 10 minutes!

One simple snooze will seriously affect your day  —  studies show that you’ll be even more tired after sleeping that 10 minutes and this makes people delay several other things. Nothing good comes of snooze.

7. I like to sleep, but my body only needs 6 or 7 hours.

After that, I don’t take any special pleasure in being in bed and I prefer to go out and do the interesting things that exist in the world. Because when I die, I’ll have a lot of time to sleep!

8. More working hours.

Since I started waking up at 4:30 a.m., I won 2 hours of work per day. How? As I said, I’m a morning person and after 6 p.m., I don’t do anything valuable (even my afternoons are less productive). So, with this hack I took out 2 unproductive hours of my night, when I usually was on my laptop passing time, and I won 2 hours, when I get lots of work done. A rested mind and 2 hours of complete silence while the rest the world is still sleeping are extremely powerful and make miracles.

9. I get messages out of the way.

Usually, during these 2 hours, I answer all my emails and messages and plan the rest of the day. Having an ‘Inbox Zero’ at 6:30 a.m. is great, but the best part for me is the fact that I have no instant answer to my emails and messages. Especially on Facebook, this is something that can destroy your productivity, as it’s perfectly possible for you to spend all day chatting with people. And if you think twice, you’ll see that the majority of people don’t need an urgent answer and nothing bad happens if you wait to answer them tomorrow.

10. More time at the gym.

Before these #21earlydays, I was already going to the gym. But since I started waking up at 4:30 a.m., I’m going more times per week. Before, three times was good, but now I can’t live without going at least four or five times. I truly believe that the fact I wake up earlier helps this, as I don’t go to the gym so tired and when I go, I have already worked 2 hours. This helps on those days when you think you don’t have time to exercise.

11. A new view on the world.

Waking up so early allowed me to see details around me that I’ve never seen before. Going running while the sun is rising or exploring different places in Lisbon during unexpected hours were impossible things with a “normal schedule.”

12. Yes, you need the will to do it.

If you don’t have it, no one will have it for you and it’s highly likely that you’ll give up. Otherwise, if you have the will, no one will stop you!

Source.

7 Habits Of People With Remarkable Mental Toughness

First the definition:

"The ability to work hard and respond resiliently to failure and adversity; the inner quality that enables individuals to work hard and stick to their long-term passions and goals."

Now the word:

Grit.

The definition of grit almost perfectly describes qualities every successful person possesses, because mental toughness builds the foundations for long-term success.

For example, successful people are great at delaying gratification. Successful people are great at withstanding temptation. Successful people are great at overcoming fear in order to do what they need to do. (Of course, that doesn't mean they aren't scared — that does mean they're brave. Big difference.) Successful people don't just prioritize: They consistently keep doing what they have decided is most important.

All those qualities require mental strength and toughness — so it's no coincidence those are some of the qualities of remarkably successful people.

Here are ways you can become mentally stronger — and as a result more successful:

1. Always act as if you are in total control.

There's a saying often credited to Ignatius: "Pray as if God will take care of all; act as if all is up to you." (Cool quote.)

The same premise applies to luck. Many people feel luck has a lot to do with success or failure. If they succeed, luck favored them, and if they fail, luck was against them.

Most successful people do sense that good luck played some role in their success. But they don't wait for good luck or worry about bad luck. They act as if success or failure is completely within their control. If they succeed, they caused it. If they fail, they caused it.

By not wasting mental energy worrying about what might happen to you, you can put all your effort into making things happen. (And then if you get lucky, hey, you're even better off.)

You can't control luck, but you can definitely control you.

2. Put aside things you have no ability to affect.

Mental strength is like muscle strength — no one has an unlimited supply. So why waste your power on things you can't control?

For some people it's politics. For others it's family. For others it's global warming. Whatever it is, you care … and you want others to care.

Fine. Do what you can do: Vote. Lend a listening ear. Recycle and reduce your carbon footprint. Do what you can do. Be your own change — but don't try to make everyone else change.

(They won't.)

3. See the past as valuable training … and nothing more.

The past is valuable. Learn from your mistakes. Learn from the mistakes of others.

Then let it go.

Easier said than done? It depends on your perspective. When something bad happens to you, see it as an opportunity to learn something you didn't know. When another person makes a mistake, don't just learn from it — see it as an opportunity to be kind, forgiving, and understanding.

The past is just training; it doesn't define you. Think about what went wrong but only in terms of how you will make sure that next time you and the people around you know how to make sure it goes right.

4. Celebrate the success of others.

Many people — I guarantee you know at least a few — see success as a zero-sum game: There's only so much to go around. When someone else shines, they think that diminishes the light from their stars.

Resentment sucks up a massive amount of mental energy — energy better applied elsewhere.

When a friend does something awesome, that doesn't preclude you from doing something awesome. In fact where success is concerned, birds of a feather tend to flock together — so draw your unsuccessful friends even closer.

Don't resent awesomeness. Create and celebrate awesomeness, wherever you find it, and in time you'll find even more of it in yourself.

5. Never allow yourself to whine. (Or complain. Or criticize.)

Your words have power, especially over you. Whining about your problems always makes you feel worse, not better.

So if something is wrong, don't waste time complaining. Put that mental energy into making the situation better. (Unless you want to whine about it forever, eventually you'll have to make it better.)

So why waste time? Fix it now. Don't talk about what's wrong. Talk about how you'll make things better, even if that conversation is only with yourself.

And do the same with your friends or colleagues. Don't just serve as a shoulder they can cry on. Friends don't let friends whine; friends help friends make their lives better.

6. Focus only on impressing yourself.

No one likes you for your clothes, your car, your possessions, your title, or your accomplishments. Those are all "things." People may like your things — but that doesn't mean they like you.

(Sure, superficially they might seem to like you, but superficial is also insubstantial, and a relationship not based on substance is not a real relationship.)

Genuine relationships make you happier, and you'll form genuine relationships only when you stop trying to impress and start trying to just be yourself.

And you'll have a lot more mental energy to spend on the people who really do matter in your life.

7. Count your blessings.

Take a second every night before you turn out the light and, in that moment, quit worrying about what you don't have. Quit worrying about what others have that you don't.

Think about what you do have. You have a lot to be thankful for. Feels pretty good, doesn't it?

Feeling better about yourself is the best way of all to recharge your mental batteries.

Source

16 Reasons You’re Succeeding in Life (Even If You Don’t Feel You Are)

“It’s often hard to tell just how close you are to success.”

At times we all feel less than successful.  We feel like we’re running in place, struggling to make even the slightest bit of progress.  And while this is a perfectly normal feeling, you have to ultimately break free from it and see yourself and your life in a more positive light.

The key is to pay attention to the small things.  Just because you’re not where you want to be, doesn’t mean you’re a failure.  In fact, quite the opposite is true.  To be truly happy and successful today doesn’t mean you don’t desire more in the future, it means you are sincerely thankful for what you have already accomplished and patient for everything yet to come.

Every morning when you wake up, think of three things that are going well in your life at the moment.  As you fall asleep every night, fill your mind with an appreciation for all the small things that went well during the day.  Examine your daily successes.

Give the power of your thinking to the positive influences in your life, and they will grow stronger and more influential every day.  Remind yourself of what works well and why, and you’ll naturally find ways to make lots of other things work well too.  The most efficient way to enjoy more success in life is not to obsess yourself with what hasn’t worked, but instead to extend and expand upon the success you already know.

Here are some much-needed reminders – sixteen good reasons you’re already succeeding in life:

You are walking your own path, not anyone else’s. – One of the most foundational sources of both success and happiness is simply being comfortable with who you really are.  Not trading your reality for a role or your truth for an act.  Not giving up your freedom of thought.  Not putting on a mask.  So never let anyone’s ignorance, hate, drama or negativity stop you.  If you desire to make a difference in the world, you must continue to be different from the world.  Don’t be scared to walk alone on your own path, and don’t be scared to like it.

You are gradually working through your fears. – As you know, running from fear is a race you’ll never win.  In fact, what you’re afraid of dealing with is often precisely what will set you free.  So keep doing what you’ve been doing – take another step forward today.  Don’t let your fear decide your future.  Don’t let it shut you down.  Instead, let it wake you up!  Take chances and indulge in the excitement.  Tell yourself that the fear of suffering is far worse than the suffering itself.  Convince yourself that everything you want is on the other side of fear.  Because it is.  (Read Start.)

You have not let failure stop you. – Every success has a trail of failures behind it, and every failure is leading toward success.  Oftentimes our greatest insight comes from our failure, not from our accomplishments.  It’s a matter of taking each lesson and stepping forward with it.  At the end of the day, whether you choose to go with it, flow with it, resist it, change it, or hide from it, life goes on.  If what you did today didn’t turn out as you hoped, tomorrow is a new opportunity try again, or to do something totally different.  What’s important is to realize that you have a choice.

You learn something new and grow stronger every day. – To find the best path forward we must occasionally stray from it.  There are no wrong turns; only paths we didn’t know we were meant to walk.  In the end, to be a success you don’t have to be perfect, you just have to remain perfectly capable of improving.  Keep letting your mistakes strengthen you.  Life is a series of little journeys.  Allow each step to be a teachable moment.  And don’t confuse your path with your destination.  Just because it’s stormy sometimes, doesn’t mean you aren’t headed for sunshine.

You have overcome some considerable obstacles. – Nothing is ever as bad as it seems.  Nothing!  There is a benefit and a blessing hidden in the folds of every experience and every outcome.  Consider the possibility that the little obstacles in your life’s path are not obstacles at all, but stepping-stones to amazing places.

You do your best to love what is. – A big part of success and happiness is not getting everything you want, but mindfully wanting what you get.  After all, stress is resistance to what is.  Continue to accept what comes to you totally and completely, so you can appreciate it, learn from it and then let it go.  Sometimes the best possible response is simply allowing yourself to be at peace with what is, rather than wishing for, and bemoaning, what is not.  It’s about doing the best you can with the hand you’ve been dealt.

You try to be as present as possible. – We all have two lives.  And the second one starts now, when we realize that we only have one.  Really, nothing is worth more than today.  Because you can’t change yesterday or accurately predict tomorrow, but you can ruin today – your real life – by worrying about those two illusory eternities.  So stay present and focus on what you can create today.  Tomorrow will reveal itself exactly as it should, just as yesterday already has.  (Read The Power of Now.)

You love yourself first, instead of loving the idea of everyone else loving you. – Putting yourself first does not mean being “selfish.”  It means being self-aware.  It means never forgetting to love yourself, too.

You don’t judge people. – People are sometimes too quick to judge, but slow to correct themselves.  You know this and you graciously do the opposite.  It’s impressive, really.  Because it’s much easier to judge people than it is to understand them.  Understanding takes extra kindness and patience, and this “extra” is worth it.  This “extra” makes a big difference in the end.

You are the reason some people smile. – Do not miss a chance – not one single, tiny opportunity – to tell someone how wonderful they are and how beautiful they are, inside and out.

You have incredible people in your life. – Your capacity to be both effective and happy is directly related to the quality of people whom most closely surround you every single day.  Having just one or two of these people a phone call away is truly a priceless blessing.  These relationships are worth celebrating.

You have been selfless in your closest relationships. – Almost every immoral action ever committed can be traced back to a selfish motive.  It is a trait we hate in other people but often justify in ourselves.  The fact that you have made sacrifices for people you love is remarkable in every way.  I know it’s not easy.  It’s one of the very hardest parts of loving someone – you have to give things up for them.  And sometimes, you even have to give them up, selflessly.

You have given up doing things for others out of guilt. – Sometimes we give in to our loved one’s requests out of guilt.  But we need to stop feeling guilty for not giving the people we care about everything they want.  It’s sometimes a hard pill to swallow, but we foster the attitude of entitlement in our lives and relationships when we are ruled by a guilty conscience.  It’s OK to say “no” to friends and family sometimes.  You know this, so just keep doing what you know is right, and never let false guilt get the best of you.

You aren’t overspending to impress or satisfy others. – I think it’s good for our friends and family to hear us say, “I can’t afford that” or “We will have to save for it.”  Because that’s real life.  We don’t have all the money in the world to buy everything we could ever want.  If you think about it, I bet you’ve known families before who are working multiple jobs to drive luxury cars and keep their kids in expensive extracurricular activities, when honestly, everyone would be happier and better off with more family and friendship time and less financial stress.

You respect yourself enough to never let anyone walk all over you. – A simple reminder, but so very important:  Never, ever submit your self-worth or moral values to a relationship.  True love and friendship can flower only under the sun of mutual respect.  Some people may try to trample your garden and walk all over you, but you don’t have to sit there and take it.  Period.  (Angel and I discuss this in detail in the “Self-Love” chapter of 1,000 Little Things Happy, Successful People Do Differently.)
You know you can’t please everyone, and you don’t try. – That’s right.  Keep standing strong.  Don’t let the negative opinions of others derail you.  Ultimately, there are two kinds of people – those who are a drain on your energy and creative force, and those who give you energy and support your growth.  Avoid the first kind.  May the bridges you burn light your way.  Just be happy, be honest and be true to yourself every day.  If others don’t like it, let them be.  Success in life isn’t about pleasing everyone.

AFTERTHOUGHTS

Success is not a skill; it’s a persistent attitude.  It’s not a place you arrive at; it’s a process you live through.  It’s what you do every day.  It’s what you are doing now…

You are succeeding in life.  You just have to believe it.

Sursa

10 porunci ale atitudinii

1. Altitudinea pe care o atingi in viata este determinata de atitudinea ta, nu de aptitudini.

2.Scopul existentei tale nu este sa iti castigi traiul. ci sa creezi o viata aducand contributii valoroase din ceea ce ai de dat.
3.Un gand negativ este o plata directa pentru o obligatie de a esua.

4.Daca nu acum, atunci cand?

5.Nu te plange niciodata, asumati responsabilitatea pentru alegerile tale.

6.Tineretea este o stare de spirit, nu o perioada a vietii.

7.Fii entuziast.Cel mai grav faliment este o persoana care si-a pierdut entuziasmul.

8.Nu natura unei situatii conteaza, ci felul in care reactionezi in acea situatie,

9. "Cele mai multe dintre umbrele din viata ta sunt provocate de faptul ca tu insati stai in calea soarelui" by Ralph Waldo Emerson

10. Nimeni nu iti poate crea un complex de inferioritate fara permisiunea ta.

Sursa:  Totul depinde de tine-Thomas B. Smith

Why Being Reserved Makes You Sexy, Not Boring

The universe is unanimously obsessed with Beyoncé for obvious reasons. We want to know how she sleeps, eats and shops, and it has come to the point where she could file a restraining order on the whole world.
Because Beyoncé has led such a private personal life, we are consumed by knowing the details of her everyday life.
That all changed when she dropped her self-titled album, and she let us into her sex life — aka the sanctuary of every relationship. What used to set Beyoncé apart from today’s female icons is that she never let the public see that side of her; she was as reserved as a celebrity could be.
My mom used to warn me, “Never show a guy all of you; don’t show him your sweet side and don’t tell him all of your secrets.” I brushed it off as old-school, unprogressive advice, but it turned out she was onto something.
The reserved woman always intrigues us; wondering what she does all day and how she snagged that man or job keeps us interested in her life because we know nothing about it.
Don’t for a second mistake being reserved for being standoffish or timid. On the contrary, reservation suggests an alluring nature.
Reserved women aren’t all hush-hush; they are just wise in choosing what to share, how much of it to share and what to hold in. A reserved woman heeds to her instinct, which makes her vigilant of new and old company.
The thing that attracts men to a reserved woman the most is that he has to work to see her body and soul revealed.
Guys love a woman who’s self-aware and doesn’t find the need to consult others about her life decisions. Her selectiveness means that she has set standards regarding a man’s demeanor, which he must meet before she can give him the time of day.
A reserved woman doesn’t let superficial insecurities get to her because it implies weakness, and weakness is a more embarrassing than anything. She’s still human and has hot-mess days, but you’re not going to know when those days happen because she’s getting it together in her own thoughts.
She’s constantly reflecting on herself, and she keeps her life in check by maintaining an exciting outlook on life. If she can’t find things interesting about herself, how can she expect others to be interested in her?
She may be a lady in the streets, but you’re wondering what kind of freak she is in the sheets because you’re not getting any hints. A reserved woman isn’t sexually inexperienced or shy; she is simply private about her sexuality. Reserved women allow the mind to wonder what’s going on beneath those clothes.
Labels exist whether we’d like them to or not, but as a reserved woman, you never present an opportunity for others to label you. Reserved women are aware of the image they project to others and know that the only people worthy of seeing all of them have earned it.
We’ve lost a sense of reservation because our lifestyle has become flashier, more provocative and super public due to social media. So how does one adopt this air of mystery?
It’s quite simple: Just keep your mouth shut! Be critical about what information you share and with whom you share it with.
Saturday nights have become photo ops for women, which has grown to be secretly addicting, but resist the urge to bare all to bare it all online. People want what they can’t have, and they’re curious about what they can’t figure out.
That, my friends, is why being reserved is the sexiest thing a woman can be.


Source